STILL HERE

WELL I HAVE BEEN TO A FEW SESSIONS NOW WITH MY THERIPEST I CONFESSED MY (IN ADVERDENT) LIE TO HER IT WASENT EASY ITS SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN KEEPING A SECRET SINCE I WAS ABOUT 8 YRS OLD. ( I'M 41 NOW INCASE I HAVE NOT PUT THAT DOWN YET) I THINK MY LEVEL OF DEPRESSION HAS LEVELED OFF NOT ON DRUGS YET HOPEFULLY WONT HAVE TO IF I DONT SINK ANY DEEPER I MIGHT BE O.K.
ITS KIND OF FUNNY, IN A SAD SORT OF WAY, I THOUGHT I WAS PRITTY NORMAL THEN MY THERIPEST STARTS OFFERING ME TWO APPTS A WEEK KIND OF MAKES ME THINK? I ONLY HAD TO SEE HER TWICE, ONCE BUT SHE HAS TOLD ME TO CALL HER ANYTIME I NEED TO. I AM HOPEING I WILL NOT.
WORK STILL SUCKS I KNOW THAT WILL NOT CHANGE SO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. ITS HARD THOUGH LONG COMMUTE SO I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY TO BEAT THE TRAFFIC SO I HAVE TO GO TO BED EARLY WICH I DONT LIKE TO DO ITS A VISIOUS CYCLE.

DEEP DEPRESION

THERAPY WAS O.K. THE THERAPEST SEEMS VERY COMPITENT, HARD TO TELL AFTER ONE VISIT PART OF WICH IS SPENT FILLING OUT PAPERWORK,. SHE ACTUALLY ASKED A QUESTION THAT HAS NEVER BEEN ASKED BEFORE, I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF ANSWERING ANOTHER QUESTION AND DIDNT ANSWER THE QUESTION TRUTHFULLY. THIS BOTHERED ME AT THE TIME A LITTLE BECAUSE ITS STUPID TO LIE TO SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO HELP YOU. BUT IT IS ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS THAT TAKES ALOT TO ANSWER. I DID CONFIDE IN MY WIFE THIS SITUATION AND TOLD MY WIFE THIS "THING". I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THIS AND IT WAS HARD TELLING MY WIFE. THANK GOD SHE IS VERY SUPPORTIVE AND IS NOT MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A FREEK OR ANYTHING. I WILL TELL MY THERAPEST TOMORROW AT MY NEXT APPT. BUT NOW THE PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE BEEN SENT INTO A DEEP DEPRESION AND I'M CONCERENED THAT MEDS WILL BE THE ONLY WAY TO GET OUT OF IT. I NEVER PLANNED ON TELLING ANYONE THIS "THING" AND NOW I WISH I NEVER DID. WORK SUCKS TOO AND THAT DOES'NT HELP THE LEVEL OF INCOMPANCY HERE IS UNBELEVABLE. FOR EXAMPLE I HAD TO FIX A RADIO FOR THE # 2 MAN HERE, HIS SECRATERY CALLED ALL UPSET AND PISSED OFF THAT I DID NOT REPLY TO HER CALL YESTERDAY (I WAS OUT SICK STRESS YOU KNOW) BUT THIS RADIO HAD TO BE UP AND RUNNING TODAY BECAUSE THERE MAY BE A MEETING IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM AND GOD FORBID IT NOT WORK! SO I GO UP TO LOOD AT THE UNIT AND AFTER ABOUT 2 SECONDS I SEE THE PROBLEM, YOU GUESSED IT NOT PLUGGED IN. NOW THIS MAN MAKES IN EXCESS OF $200,000 A YEAR AND I'M KNOW THE SECRATARY MAKES MORE MONEY THAN ME BUT NONE OF THEN CAN PLUG SOMETHING IN. THE PPLUG WAS JUST LAYING THERE IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS HIDDEN IN A CORNER. I COULD HAVE SENT MY 9 YEAR OLD TO FIX IT. WELL THATS ENOUGH FOR NOW I ALMOST FEEL A LITTLE BETTER NOW.

DD 2

NOW THIS MAN MAKES IN EXCESS OF $200,000 A YEAR AND I'M KNOW THE SECRATARY MAKES MORE MONEY THAN ME BUT NONE OF THEN CAN PLUG SOMETHING IN. THE PPLUG WAS JUST LAYING THERE IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS HIDDEN IN A CORNER. I COULD HAVE SENT MY 9 YEAR OLD TO FIX IT. WELL THATS ENOUGH FOR NOW I ALMOST FEEL A LITTLE BETTER NOW.

I THINK I EXCEDED SOME LIMIT

THERAPY WAS O.K. THE THERAPEST SEEMS VERY COMPITENT, HARD TO TELL AFTER ONE VISIT PART OF WICH IS SPENT FILLING OUT PAPERWORK,. SHE ACTUALLY ASKED A QUESTION THAT HAS NEVER BEEN ASKED BEFORE, I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF ANSWERING ANOTHER QUESTION AND DIDNT ANSWER THE QUESTION TRUTHFULLY. THIS BOTHERED ME AT THE TIME A LITTLE BECAUSE ITS STUPID TO LIE TO SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO HELP YOU. BUT IT IS ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS THAT TAKES ALOT TO ANSWER. I DID CONFIDE IN MY WIFE THIS SITUATION AND TOLD MY WIFE THIS "THING". I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THIS AND IT WAS HARD TELLING MY WIFE. THANK GOD SHE IS VERY SUPPORTIVE AND IS NOT MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A FREEK OR ANYTHING. I WILL TELL MY THERAPEST TOMORROW AT MY NEXT APPT. BUT NOW THE PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE BEEN SENT INTO A DEEP DEPRESION AND I'M CONCERENED THAT MEDS WILL BE THE ONLY WAY TO GET OUT OF IT. I NEVER PLANNED ON TELLING ANYONE THIS "THING" AND NOW I WISH I NEVER DID. WORK SUCKS TOO AND THAT DOES'NT HELP THE LEVEL OF INCOMPANCY HERE IS UNBELEVABLE. FOR EXAMPLE I HAD TO FIX A RADIO FOR THE # 2 MAN HERE, HIS SECRATERY CALLED ALL UPSET AND PISSED OFF THAT I DID NOT REPLY TO HER CALL YESTERDAY (I WAS OUT SICK STRESS YOU KNOW) BUT THIS RADIO HAD TO BE UP AND RUNNING TODAY BECAUSE THERE MAY BE A MEETING IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM AND GOD FORBID IT NOT WORK! SO I GO UP TO LOOD AT THE UNIT AND AFTER ABOUT 2 SECONDS I SEE THE PROBLEM, YOU GUESSED IT NOT PLUGGED IN. NOW THIS MAN MAKES IN EXCESS OF $200,000 A YEAR AND I'M KNOW THE SECRATARY MAKES MORE MONEY THAN ME BUT NONE OF THEN CAN PLUG SOMETHING IN. THE PPLUG WAS JUST LAYING THERE IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS HIDDEN IN A CORNER. I COULD HAVE SENT MY 9 YEAR OLD TO FIX IT. WELL THATS ENOUGH FOR NOW I ALMOST FEEL A LITTLE BETTER NOW.